You often hear of people dreaming about ‘the One’, that perfect soul mate who will understand them completely; that perfect match. Sparks will fly, chemistry will happen, and life will be wonderful. In part that can be true, but most of the time it will be a result of a lot of effort and hard work; beforehand, or afterwords; most likely both.

The concept of ‘the One’ is romantic and dreamy, but basing actions and plans on the ideal of finding that perfect soul mate, could very well lead to long term loneliness and disappointment. Especially as Christians, we know that people aren’t perfect, and thus finding a single person who is close to perfection isn’t reality. And even the idea of finding someone who fits your personality and meshes with you seamlessly are long odds. Most of the time a good long-term match is going to be a result of deliberate and concerted commitment and hard work in a relationship. Especially when younger, when people have traditionally gotten married, a person is not who they are going to become, AND who they could become, especially in a biblically loving and supporting marriage. A married person’s potential for personal growth and maturity can be greater then a single person’s through iron sharpening iron, working through their respective biblical roles, and through responsibilities such as raising children.

And who is to say that hard work or struggles are bad? The result could be an even stronger relationship than those who have always had smooth sailing, and never successfully worked through difficult times.

Real life fairy tales
Real life fairy tales happen, but they are rare, and are not most people’s experience. It may even be possible to create a fairly tale relationship on some level, but it would take skill, finesse, and perhaps even resources and opportunities that most people don’t have.
To a great extent, waiting for that special someone, that soul mate, ‘the one’, is like day dreaming of a wonderful vacation, but never taking the steps to make it happen.

Biblical Examples
In looking at biblical examples of marriage, we must be careful to distinguish between descriptive examples of another culture and age, and prescriptive examples. While biblical relationship examples are sources of great truths, there is no biblical prescriptive injunction to directly copy their example, in part or in whole. Some events, such as the ones leading up to Issac and Rebekah's marriage, were special examples of Divine intervention. The passage can teach dependency on God and prayer, but along with the other marriage examples, shouldn’t be taken as prescriptive templates. There are few direct commands regarding the formation of marriage, and much leeway, making possible many God honoring beginnings.

Potential
Ironically for all of it's idealism 'The one' concept is perhaps one of the most counter productive ideas for guys AND girls. The emphasis should be shifted to becoming the right one, and that a someone isn't who they will become, and who they COULD become with solid biblical values.

This isn’t to say that most people can’t have great relationships, and eventually a wonderful marriage, but that by in large, it will be the result of intentional actions, not merely dreams.
And in recognizing that good enough doesn’t mean settling for less than good, as you can become the right person, and help someone else do the same who has some basic biblical values in place.

Attraction
Not that attraction is unimportant; it should be there on some level, but it isn’t the end all. Also, personality considerations that aren’t rooted in character flaws, shouldn’t necessarily be the break or make deciding factor in a pre-marriage relationship. The very nature of adapting to something that doesn’t come naturally can lead to growth.
Assuming there will always be another, when there is a good opportunity before you, may be presumptive; life holds no guarantees.

Conclusion
The key is to look for commitment and godly potential. The other person should approach the concept of marriage with a persevere no-matter-what attitude, regarding divorce as extremely undesirable and distasteful. With only a couple of well defined, allowable (but not mandated) biblical reasons at most.
Things such as a commitment to biblical truth and living by it, pattern of personal growth, life trajectory, ambition, and effort should rank among the highest considerations in who you choose to be your One.